*SPOILER ALERT*

If you were thinking of seeing this year’s most terrifying movie, go ahead and read on. Annabelle is not that movie. (Full review here.) However, if you are thinking of seeing this movie, you may not want to read ahead. I’ve condensed the hour and a half movie to a 2 minute read.

Neighbor: “Ah! Don’t kill us!”

Daughter: *STAB STAB STAB*

Mom: “I think this house is haunted. We have to move.”

Dad: “Okay.”

Devils: “Boo. I’m the devil. Give me your baby’s soul.”

Mom: “AHH! The devil! No.”

Dad: “You’re crazy. There’s no devil. I have to go to work.”

Devil: “Boo. I’m the devil.”

Mom: “AHH! It’s the devil again! Leave my baby alone.”

Wise black woman: “You gotta do whatever it takes to protect your family.”

Priest: “The doll is evil. Give it to me.

Devil: “Boo. I’m the devil. You can’t have me.” *KICK*

Priest: “Ow.”

Dad: “The priest had an accident. I believe you now. The doll is evil. Get out of the house.”

Devil: “Boo. I’m the devil. She can’t hear you. Now, mom. About the baby’s soul…”

Mom: “AHH! The devil! Give me back my baby. I’ll kill myself. You can have my soul.”

Dad: “NOO!”

Wise black lady: “This is my purpose.” *SPLAT*

Devil: “Later.”

The End