For the second installment of Two Minute Movies, here is the violent, spoiler-filled episode for Brad Pitt’s new war movie Fury. Enjoy.
Wardaddy: “Hey German. Look at my knife!” *STAB*
German: “You stabbed me in my eye!”
Wardaddy: “Let’s get out of here.”
General: “Go hook up with these other tanks and kill more Nazis.”
Wardaddy: “Cool. But I need a new guy.”
General: “Here’s a new guy. He’s been in the army 8 weeks.”
Norman: “I’m Norman. I like to type.”
Wardaddy: “What the…? Ok. Come on kid.”
Norman: “Ok. But I don’t like to kill.”
Wardaddy: “This is war, son.”
Norman: “Not gonna do it.”
Germans: “Attack!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Wardaddy: “We’re under attack!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Wardaddy: “Suck on that, Nazis.”
Nazis: “We’re dead.”
Norman: “This sucks. I quit.”
Wardaddy: “You can’t quit. This is war.”
Gordo: “This new guy sucks.”
Grady: “I hate him.”
Shia: “This reminds me of a Bible verse.”
Nazis: “Attack!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Wardaddy: “We’re under attack!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Americans: “YAY!”
Shia: “You know, this reminds me of a Bible verse, too.”
Norman: “This killing stuff is kinda cool. I guess.”
Grady: “Sorry I hated you before, kid. You’re ok. I guess.”
Some other General guy: “Go watch these crossroads. If the Nazis get through, we’re all dead.”
Wardaddy: “Cool. I’m on it.”
*BOOM*
Gordo: “Tank’s broke.”
Wardaddy: “That sucks. We’ll fight them anyway. Pretend we’re all dead.”
Shia: “There is a Bible verse about this.”
Nazis: “Look a tank with dead people.”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Nazis: “We’re under attack!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Nazis: “Ah! I’m dead!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Gordo: “Ah! I’m dead!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Nazis: “Ah! I’m dead!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Grady: “Ah! I’m dead!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Nazis: “Ah! I’m dead!”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Shia: “Hey. Where’s my head?”
Nazi: “Now ve are Even Stevens. No?”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Wardaddy: “I’m dying, kid. Don’t surrender. It’ll suck.”
Norman: “War is dumb.”
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
Nazis: “Ah! I’m dead!”
Norman: “I’m gonna hide under the tank.”
Nazis: “YAY!”
Norman: “Whew.”
The End
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